Oh hey, I just realized that tomorrow is Canada Day.  So I just want to say a huge Happy Canada Day to all my Canuck friends!!!

 On Father’s Day my house’s a/c essentially quit working.  Not a good day for one’s a/c to quit!  Having a/c in Texas in the summer is not an option (like it is places like Colorado and Minnesota).  It was…UH OH!!  We called around urgently trying to find a technician to come out on Father’s Day to fix it.  I finally found a small business in Rowlett that actually answered the telephone.  The guy came out, looked the a/c unit over and said that it was a burned out condensor.  So he replaces it and leaves.  It worked for awhile.  But I went out a little later to check on the thing and it’s sitting there wining loudly and the fan wasn’t turning!!!  Yikes!!!  So, I turned the a/c off and quickly called the guy back.  He said that he could come over first thing in the morning but not before.  So we endured a hot night.  And then the guy did come back over (well, after I had to call him again).  So, he then says that it’s likely the motor and he replaced that.  Oh and he did say that the fan was off and bent one of the blades. That last point is really important to this story.

Several days go by and Deb observed that the a/c doesn’t seem to be working.  And I noticed that it has been rocking somewhat and I’m thinking that’s not good.  So, we called another guy that our former Pastor recommended.  The second repair guy came over yesterday and said:

1.  The unit isn’t getting enough power and that the first guy should have caught that.

2.  The fan is way off and oddly bent and probably needs to be replaced as it is causing the unit to rock and will likely fall over. Then, we’ll need a whole unit if the problem isn’t corrected.  and he said the first guy should have caught that.

3.  And he said the first guy likely over charged us.  Did I mention that we spent over $500 so far to said first technician???  And that’s money that we don’t really have.

4.  The second guy said that the first guy oddly didn’t use any nuts to screw the top back on.  He recommended that we call the first guy back and see if he would be willing to come back out without charging us and fix and his shoddy work (my descriptive not his).

This second guy came all the way from Forney (like 30 to 45 minutes away), spent over an hour looking at the a/c, rerouted enough power to the a/c and didn’t charge us a penny!  So, I’m basically trusting him.

Ok, fast forward.  So, yesterday afternoon I called said first guy and very calmly described what was happening and that I would like him to come back out.  Well, you would have thought I was demanding that he sign over all his worldly possessions or something.  He was immediately hostile.  Mind you I was very calm and polite and really not demanding anything.  I was simply asking him to come back out.  So, I stopped him and asked why he was getting so angry…and wow…that just lit him up.  He started yelling and using profanity.  And amazingly I still remained calm and asked him how that was helping.  I started getting angry about this time but still remained civil and asked him how old he is (knowing full well that he’s at least in his 50’s) and that he’s not allowed to talk to me that way.  And I also reminded him that I’m a customer.  Nope that didn’t matter…this guy was like insane at this point so I hung up on him.  Then, I called the main business number to complain about this technician.  Only to find out he’s the owner!!  The owner!!!  Amazing!  

I did talk to the worker and explained things.  He talked to owner who said that they would be willing to come out for the cost of the fan and another service charge.  Uh…no.  I can pay other people that kind of money (probably less) to do a MUCH better job who don’t have anger issues and mouths like the sewer…thank you very much.  So, I called technician #2 who is hopefully coming back out today.

And as I ponder this…there really isn’t much to be learned from.  We had to get someone out.  And the low-skilled-abusive-ripe-for-a-heart-attack-anger-guy is the first one who responded.  Lesson learned???  Errrr….have lots of reputable repair people’s numbers on hand???  Nope.  Don’t know.

Ok…here’s a lesson though:  Forgiveness.  I need to forgive mr. blow-up-anger-man.  B/c well….God loves him and made him.  And I’ve made plenty of mistakes before….been angry….blown up…and said things I regretted to people who didn’t deserve it.  But more than that….the forgiveness is for me.  B/c it’s over 10 hours later and I’m still feeling offended by this guys explosive anger.  And I’m in recovery enough to know that if I don’t forgive this guy…and soon…it will go from resentment (where I’m at right now) to bitterness, and even uglier stuff than that.  And all the while, do think this guy cares about my feelings?  Not likely. And can I controll him?  Nope.  That’s not my place.  That’s God’s!  I’m not God.  I don’t want to be God! 

Ok…but does that make what the guy did ok?  No.  It doesn’t excuse it.  And so, I am going to call the Rowlett Chamber of Commerce and maybe the BBB.  And I’ll do so calmly.  Not to exact some kind of vengeance.  But b/c this guy wripped me off and was verbally abusive…and that’s not ok.  I’ll do it b/c it’s the right thing to do.  Then I’ll walk away from it.

So, Mr. blow up, angry a/c man….I forgive you.  And I will choose to forgive you as many times as it takes.  I hope that you learn to control that anger of yours and learn to treat people better.  Peace to you.

And the deep peace of the Creator to all you fellow travelers out there patient enough to read through the small novel. 

I encountered some legalism today.  And I found myself singing a U2 song that’s a good counter to that.  Here’s the words:

Grace

She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name

Grace
It’s a name for a girl
It’s also a thought that
Changed the world

And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness
In everything

Grace
She’s got the walk
Not on a wrapper on chalk
She’s got the time to talk

She travels outside
Of karma, karma
She travels outside
Of karma

When she goes to work
You can hear the strings
Grace finds beauty
In everything

Grace
She carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips
Between her fingertips

She carries a pearl
In perfect condition
What once was hers
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stains

Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things

Grace finds beauty
In everything

Grace finds goodness
In everything

Awesome.  Simply AWESOME!  Thanks Bono et.al.  And thanks most of all to you Most High for your impervious grace!

Oh my goodness!  I almost forgot!  This month is my blogoversary.  It’s been seven years for me blogging!  Not seven years at this addy specifically.  But even then I’ve had this one for…ohhhhh…gosh, about 5+ years.  Any how, it’s amazing how time flies!  I never thought I would keep going this long.  But here I am still, stalwart blogger that I am. 

I want to say a heart felt thanks to all of you who have stuck with me over the years.  And for those of few of you who are perhaps new readers thanks to you as well!  So here’s to you, here’s to me blog, and here’s to the future!  God willing, it might be another seven.

A few years ago Andrew Jones had the following quote on his blog: 

We Suck…
We have nothing to offer…
We don’t know anything…
We are just a small group of people
in a small room trying to discover
more about God…
Come be confused with us… 

Ahhh…it’s an oldie but goodie!  I still want that on a t-shirt!  Better yet, let’s see it on a bill board advertising a church!

So recently I messed up fairly big.  I overstepped my bounds in a friendship.  It wasn’t an intentional transgression.  But it was still really dumb.  So I called this person up and apologized profusely.  And my friend said it was cool and that they weren’t upset and just not to let it happen again.

But oddly, now I’m still having a hard time letting it go.  I’m thinking, man, how could I have been that stupid?  And maybe some of that is good and healthy.  For regret, though negative can be a powerful teacher.  For you can bet I’ll never do that again.  

Having said that…I really do need to let it go.  Beating myself up will serve no purpose.  No one is bettered by self condemnation.  I’ve repented.  Again, I won’t let it happen again.  Which is what I would want if the roles were reversed.  I would probably be irritated.  But apologies and repentance go a long way with me.  And that would definitely be enough.

But for some reason, when it’s me dealing with me…it’s really hard to let myself off the hook.  And I recognize that as out of balance.  For God doesn’t view me that way.  He lets it slide with me when I seek forgiveness from Him.  He even says He forgets about it!  Perhaps there is a good lesson here. I’ve been let off the hook by said friend and by God with this transgression.  Now it is my responsibility to forgive others.  It’s a demonstrated point is what I’m saying. 

Ironically, I have someone else in my life that I’m walking in forgiveness with.  That is to say, forgiveness is a choice and a process.  What the other person did hurt me terribly.  And in that sense, it is difficult to be forgiving.  But my own recent screw up is a good reminder.  It’s like saying, look, you’re not magnanimous when you forgive…you are treating others like you want to be treated.  It levels the playing field.  It brings reality back in and says, we’re all messed up. We’re all faulty.  We all screw up.  And if it hasn’t been awhile since a particular person has screwed up….just wait a short time…..b/c it’s coming.  It’s guarenteed to happen.  And if we try to without fault and/or perfect…we’re setting ourselves up.  That simply will never happen.

And dear friends, that’s where God comes in.  Again, that’s why we need a savior.  The Bible speaks strongly on this with statement like , “All of us like sheep have gone astray” (Isaiah 53) and “there is none righteous…no not one” (Romans 3:10). 

Can we improve?  Yes!  Can we learn from our mistakes?  Thankfully, yes!  But it’s foolish and wrong to think that we’re going to ever (in this life anyway) be perfect.  Hopefully what that knowledge does is allows us to grow in grace with each other…..AND….to depend upon God.  Who…as fortune would have it…IS perfect and IS the source of the grace that we need to have for one another.

So, chalk this one up as a good reminder and a lesson learned.  Peace to you today fellow traveler.

I wrote the following poem that I wrote some time ago.  Thought I would post it: 

One moment in time,
I could slip and fall,
Off the edge of the world,
Into the abyss,
Will you catch me??
Roller coasters never ending,
In the loop again,
I’m going to be sick,
Bile lurching in my throat,
I can’t take this.
But here you are again,
Companion, tried and true,
Always riding with me,
Even when I can’t see you.
I don’t deserve you.
Spinning in confusion,
Where do I turn?
Where do I go?
Blurry nightmares of the past.
Hazy hopes of tomorrow.
Still you are with me.
Always with me.

Sometimes I am so amazed at what a solace the holy scriptures can be.  Had kind of a hard weekend.  Lots of confusion over a few things.  And all it took was reading the Bible on the way to work today.  And whoosh…like a strong cool breeze on a sweltering day…there was relief.  The Spirit was present and speaking his soft, kind words.  It is really an amazing thing.

How often I have heard preachers say that people need to be reading their Bibles.  And they treat the scriptures almost like cod liver oil or something.  It’s almost like their saying “Eat your brussel sprouts…their good for ya’”.  Btw, I love brussel sprouts now…but hated them as a kid.  That in not to say that there is not that the Bible is “good for ya’”.  Of course it is!  But it’s so much more than a kind prescription medication.  It’s…life giving.  It’s a love letter to us straight from God.  It’s nothing less than God’s story to us….His people.  It’s sweeping and grand and epic like Exodus and Acts.  And yet it’s intimate and joyful like Ruth and John.  And as N.T. Wright so aptly pointed out it is the place where heaven meets Earth.  The Celts would call this a “thin place”.  And in that sense it’s mystical.  This book that we have is mobile portal.  It is a way to enter into the message of God.  A proven way to hear from Him.  Why would we NOT read them???? 

But, having said that….I’m aware too that the scriptures hurt to read sometimes.  They can bring tremendous conviction at times.  And that is really painful.  And pain well, hurts.  But even when the scriptures cut us, it is a good thing.  Even when it hurts…they bring growth and new life.  It’s part of the necessary pruning process.  It must happen.  So, again, why would we NOT read them???? 

Well, as for me…I know better.  I’m going to be walking in His scriptures and let them shape me.  For in them there is the way to life. 

Yesterday, after the big storm passed, we found four robin chicks on the ground.  Two were sadly already dead.  The remaining two were still alive.  So, we quickly scooped them up and put them into separate shoe boxes.  One of the chicks was severely injurred.  But we cleaned the ants off them and tried to feed them.  I even tried to scale up the tree that they fell out of to attempt to put them back in their nest.  If I could just get them back in their nest, I thought, they might have a chance.  Their mother might be able to initiate the cascade of feeding behvaiors that the chicks are hardwired for.  Alas, the nest was just too darn high!  Sadly, both chicks ended up dying. In my experience chicks that fall out of their nests almost always die.

And I am remarkably grieved over them.  I love birds.  And I really love robins.  But I do think we made their last moments more comfortable.  They seemed to be at peace and not as distraught as when they were being devoured by ants on the ground.

My son Jesse asked if there are any mammals that would guard and take care of these birds.  What a strangely wonderful question!  We came to the conclusion that yes, there is one species….Homo Sapiens.  So, though humans are remarkably violent and destructive…we are also capable of such good.  And when we do the latter, we are fulfilling the purpose the Creator has for  us.  We are being stewards over the Earth.  Yesterday, I didn’t think twice about taking care of the little robins.  Not to exault myself.  If anything, it is to exalt the Creator for putting this in our DNA.  For putting His purpose in us.  For valuing and honoring us so much as to place this calling in us.

Ah….there it is…calling.  And really this isn’t just a point of calling to care for the Earth and our fellow creatures.  Though it certainly can be.  I’m talking about the bigger calling.  The calling to fulfill what God designed us to be.  To seek and persue that calling whatever it is.  And there are callings for communities as well as individuals.  What is our calling?  That is what I am pondering during this “little lent” after Pentecost. 

My kids are going through the house right now chanting: 

Follow.  Worship.  Live through Him.

They are at VBS this week at Firewheel Bible Fellowship.  If this is all they come away with…it will be a lot.  I think I’ll join them.  “Follow…worship…”